Black in Taiwan, Part II: Shit Taiwanese People Say

Perhaps many of you are familiar with the "Shit [insert specific group here] say (about [insert second specific group here])" videos floating around on YouTube recently, A while ago, one that caught my eye for obvious reasons was "Shit White Girls Say to Black Girls" by chescaleigh:

I showed someone this video, and she suggested I make a "Shit Taiwanese People Say". But, as I focus on writing, I decided to do a little written version. I realize not all Taiwanese people make these ignorant comments, and I have met many open-minded locals here, but the following comments are things I seriously hear *a lot*.

So, without further ado, my top 5 pieces of "shit" I hear Taiwanese people say about black people.

5. Various comments about my hair.

4. Black people can't speak Chinese.//黑人不會講中文。

I hear this all the time. Usually I hear this after someone around me has already showered me with a barrage of insults, and I give them a look or laugh a little to myself at their stupidity. They then turn to the person next to them and go "Did she hear what we said?" or "Does she understand?". A lot of times, the person will reply, "Of course not! Black people can't speak Chinese!" Really? Because I'm sure black people can speak Chinese:

Yeah...

I suppose this belief is due to the image perpetuated around the world about us poor dark people.  Not only do we look weird, but we're not smart enough to be educated. Usually when I hear this, I say nothing. It's fun to listen to the ridiculous crap that flies out of peoples' mouths, especially when I'm in a situation where I need to speak Chinese and the person who said the insult is still around.

3. Black people are ugly.//黑皮膚不好看。

I hear this almost daily as well. I've had comments made about nearly all of my features, especially the size of my nose and lips (especially the fact that they are naturally partially red). I also get a lot of comments on the way I dress (which is unremarkable). Maybe they're on to something though. Remember, black women are the most unattractive women on earth (yeah, sure), which is exactly why a lot of women here get perms to make their hair poofier...just like afro-textured hair. Hmm...

2. Black people don't shower.//黑人不洗澡。

This one is hilarious! Black people have dark skin, it must be because we shower less, or even more frightening, not at all! Judging by the body odors I have taken in on the MRT, I'd say that some Taiwanese people tend not to shower as much as they should. In fact, there are people of every race who lack personal hygiene. As for me, and many other black people, I do shower. Every day. Sometimes more than once a day - shocking!

Quick!  Grab your cameras!
There's a black person taking a shower!
(Source)

1. It seems like she's intelligent.//好像她很聰明。

This one may not appear as bad as the other ones.  In fact, it may appear like a complement, but for me, this is the most offensive thing a person (two people in fact, I've heard this twice) has said about me. I hate that, due to my appearance, sometimes I'm seen here as someone who is "stupid until proven intelligent". I think this ignorant comment goes along with the ones of shock that are made when I'm - gasp - reading a book on the bus or train or - gasp - can order a meal all by myself!